Kourney at Parties:

I have pretty bad social anxiety so I tend to avoid going to parties - particularly parties of people I don't know. But when I was asked to go yesterday, I agreed! (much to my own surprise)

I walked in the door like I was Pink in the 90's and I about to get this party started. I had my ginger-ale in hand, respectfully took my shoes off, and greeted the person I thought was the host of the party.

I made my way around greeting and introducing myself to the humans that filled the room.

 I am not very good with small talk. I think it is a waste of time.

What Kourtney says, "huh!"
What Kourtney is thinking, "Literally everything you just said does not matter."

I will not remember your name if you are not interesting.

(See! This is why I avoid parties. I'm the worst.)

So I tend to talk about things that could potentially spur a proper discussion.

I could see in their eyes how they were soooooo not there with me but I went on talking about different Shakespeare plays because I didn't know what else to do, and I figured it was a better topic than serial killers.

As I was left standing in the middle of the room by my self, I started giggling hysterically. I had realized that I had just done what The Programmers had done when they tried to flirt with us at The Up and Up just a week ago.

The Pips

Let me tell you about The Pips.

Her real name is Pipsy and we met for the first time in July of 2013. Of course I adored her at first sight. She was fat and had big yellow eyes that looked like they wanted to murder you in your sleep. What's not to love?

The Pips is basically our third roommate. When I come home, she always greats me and tells me about her day, and I ask her her opinion on very important life questions. When Grete and I are sitting on the couch or eating The Pips will sit about 6 feet away and just stare at us while breathing loudly. She is like Brainy from "Hey Arnold," just weezing away as she stares into your soul.

She often likes to sit on the radiator and stare at you while you are showering. it can be unsettling at times.

  Once I get out of the shower  and wrap myself in a towel she will demand that I come over to her on the radiator so that she can give me a hug while i scratch behind her ears. If i do not comply, I run the risk of a nice pile of vomit outside my door.
 

 

The Pips is normally not allowed in my room because of my mouse. But when Grete is gone, I let her sleep with me. It gets rather frustrating when she is done exploring my room and demands my attention while I am trying to find sleep.

There are time, though, when she is too darn cute to resist. Particularly when she flops on the ground with her little paws in the air, exposing her fat, soft, kitty belly. I just want to rub my face on it! But I know better.

Thanks Admiral Ackbar.

Flirting Tips

Grete and I volunteered to be judges for The Great Bellingham Adventure that our friends Thomas and Rebecca put on. We were sent to a bar called The Up and Up where we waited for teams to come in and receive stamps for: showing a picture of an out of state license plate, buying a drink, and answering a Star War trivia question. Grete and I dressed up in faux German Dirndls so that people could tell us apart from the average bar goer.

There was a bit of a lul around 8:30 and Grete and I were having a lovely chat about random shenanigans, when we were interrupted by two boys who wanted to sit with us. I was hesitant because we had a job to do. They sat down and stayed even though we explained that we were judges for a Pub Crawl (to which one boy kept referring to a scavenger hunt. no.) But I always appreciate the courage it takes for a guy to come talk to a girl so I was polite.
At least at first I was polite.

Then they stared talking about video games.

And then they started talking about programming. But luckily they were mostly just talking to Grete, so I zoned out.

But once they started talking about coding, I was so done.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't flirt with a girl using programming or coding as a subject matter.

Couch Comic: "Hannibal"

In one of my previous comics, I described how Grete and I like to watch TV together each night. We recently got into the TV series Hannibal. If you don't know anything about this series, the basic plot is about a young FBI criminal profiler - Will Graham - who has an extraordinary ability to empathize with serial killers. In order to keep Will "sane" he is required to visit the renowned psychiatrist: Dr. Hannibal Lecter - who we all know it a special kind of psychopath that eats the people he kills.

Since high school I have been intrigued with criminal profiling - mostly with serial killers because of a sociology class I took from the one and only Chip Hopkins. I am not so interested in what they do, but rather why they do it. I an deeply fascinated by behavioral psychology and nature vs. nurture so I was excited to start the series.

Here, in the form of poorly drawn comics, is what happened.

First episode, "Apéritif":

"Relevés":

Ten minutes after the season finale, "Savoureux":

Doctor and Consultant

The idea of a super hero has always fascinated me. I have always wondered if it is human nature to create entities that resemble the human figure but are capable of far more than a normal human. Is it because we don’t feel as though we are special enough? Is it because our lives become a dull routine and we need an escape through a mythical figure? I must say, I find myself wishing that I could be more of this or more of that, and day dreaming that I could amplify some part of me and become something better. Upon examining this fantasy, I realize that my wishes are purely selfish and I probably wouldn’t even use my “super powers” for the greater good of the planet. If a person had an amplified personality trait, or ability, is it their responsibility to use it for the greater good of humanity? I guess that whole “with great power comes great responsibility” thing comes into play.

But none of what I just wrote has anything to do with these drawings I did. I just made Grete and I into Super Heroes.

The Consultant:
Super Powers: Patiently Listening
Born: Salt Lake City, Utah, United States
Arch Nemeses: Nega Consultant and anxiety
Info:

• Goes hours without talking, sometimes days.
• Has been known to put dead creatures in the freezer.
• Once kept a freshly dead bird to see how long rigamortis takes to set in for a sparrow. (20 minutes. And she still has it.) 
• Decorates with dead things.

The Doctor:
Super Powers: Resilience (both emotionally and physically) & wicked cooking skillz
Born: Butzbach, Hessen, Germany
Arch Nemeses: Lies/Liars
Info:

• Great with the men folk.
• Has a military family
• Writer
• Deals with The Consultant’s weird shenanigans and doesn’t ask questions.

(I just enhanced one thing that we like best about ourselves. I like that I am a good listener, and that people are comfortable talking to me about anything, and knowing that I will not pass judgment or criticize. Grete likes that she is so resilient. She likes that she will not give up on something or someone –she gives her whole self to that something or someone.)

Couch Bonding

Grete and I have gotten into the routine of watching Supernatural before we go to bed each night. I have seen them all  (don't judge me, BYU was a difficult time for me!) so I usually cross stitch, read, or stuff my face hole with massive quantities of food. Grete and I have affectionately called this time "Couch Bonding." Since Couch Bonding began I have started to draw what we now call Couch Comics. The couch is the protagonist in the comics and the antagonist is clearly Pipsy. The couch has two companions - with the occasional visit from Tyler - and the comics illustrate Couch and Companions adventures.

Beware: Cat (true story)

Take Me to the Fair!

Grete and I went to Lynden for the annual fair. (more like I forced Grete to go with me on pain of breaking my little heart.) I went around touching all the 4H animals and chattering away about this type of cow and that type of horse, Grete kindly put up with  my incessant talking, random animal facts and squeals of delight.

We ate Gyros and split a MooWich (cookie-icecream sandwich. Both homemade. Heavenly.)

Grete and I are very similar in a lot of ways, but there is one particular personality trait were we differ:

 

 The highlight of my evening was riding a camel. Just in case you didn't read that last part for some reason: I RODE A FREAKING CAMEL.

I was so stinking excited! I have ridden a horse, elephant, a calf, a sheep and now a camel. (next on the list is to ride an ostrich - but I may have to loose 50 pounds before I do.) You should have seen how excited I was to ride that weird quadruped. I waved my ticket in the air using my loud whispering voice to sing "I've got a golden ticket!" (though my ticket was, in fact, blue.) I stood in line behind two girls about 6 and 8 years old. Behind me were two more girls about 5 and 7. And behind them were a couple more kids under the age of 9. I felt a little out of place, but it didn't matter because I was going to ride a freaking camel.

Grete and I took a gander at the random collection of collections on display. (why. why would this be at a fair. just....why.) I checked out a collection of My Little Ponies, and Grete was looking at some Star Wars collections. And then this happened.

We chose to leave soon after this indecent. I guess we were discussing the matter of destroying the child with the force a little loud because the woman at the gate said, "Time for bed." At first I thought she meant it was time for herself to go to bed, but as the small talk went on, I realized she meant it was time for us to go to bed. 

(sorry about the poorly done drawings. I was feeling lazy.)