Winter Winds

Fall is known for change,

The leaves change from green to red. Relationships turn from roses and chocolates to avoiding calls and back stabbing. Oh, and don’t forget the beginning stages of devastating seasonal depressive disorder. Yes, Fall is quite delightful. October is probably the best month out of the year. Not only do you have all of terrific leaves, relationships and depression, you’ve got my birthday – which we all know is everyone’s favorite day of the year – and there is Halloween, (Yes I did have four costumes this year) and don’t forget Canadian Thanksgiving. But around the middle of October I begin to have this hunger. A hunger so great it consumes me. No, I don’t mean like a hunger for blood or for human souls – I mean like a regular hunger. For food.

I can’t think of anything else! I am living from meal to meal trying to figure out where I am going to get my next fix. Forty-five minutes will have gone by from my last snack, and I start to fidget. I think of exactly what I am going to eat as soon as I get out of class. (For some reason Chinese food never sounds like a bad idea.)

All of this craving for massive amounts of food is just preparation for what happens next:

Hibernation.  

My stomach is all like: “Kourtney! You have got to get fat so you can sleep through the long hard winter ahead! If you don’t eat everything in sight, you will starve! STARVE!” My stomach doesn’t really get the whole guys-like-a-lady-with-a-slim-figure thing. But I always do as my stomach commands. 

You have no idea how many times I have texted my brother telling him what an Eatosaurus-Rex I am being. (He often does not reply.)

For some reason, every year for the past 4 years, the first week of November takes a major toll on my existence. Life says “Hold up, gurl!” And my existence slows down to a crawl.

After I get my annual proverbial punch to the face, I roll myself into a human blanket burrito. And there I stay for days on end. Thus the hibernation begins.